Sure enough it was a scheduled meeting for September 24th and then my eyes went to the birth date 08/12/14 and my heart squeezed in disappointment a little. Now to some of you wiser readers of the blog, you will see that date and think "December 12, 2014" but when we saw it, we read "August 8" which means our potential daughter was 13 months old. Please hear me when I say that YES YES YES we would be so blessed to receive a daughter at 13 months old, that is sooooo young in the adoption world! But my heart squeeze wasn't out of ungratefulness but rather from a shattering of a daydream, a desire of my heart....I wanted a baby, a baby'er baby than 13 months and every day dream and prayer had been for a baby 3 to 6 months, up to a year. Cameron and I talked and I explained to Cameron that this whole entire process has been led by God and if He chooses an age outside of my ideal age range, I would rather have what He wants because He is such a good God and Father and has proven Himself to be a giver of such good gifts. I truly meant it but the ache in my heart would return.
Many of you reading this are a part of this story and have been praying for our adoption process. Others stood beside us after a general post last week on Facebook to pray for us regarding knowing God's will. (Many emails followed asking if we were leaving the IMB *Note! hard to have general adoption prayer requests at the same time your mission organization is letting go of 600+ missionaries) So I say this to say, Thank You! Thank you for praying and standing beside us. My stomach was in excited, scared, worried, excited, scared, knots! And without even knowing of the scheduled change, many have told me that the Lord led them to pray for us this morning, not knowing that we were driving to meet our girl :)
Our appointment was moved to a day earlier and the morning of our drive to meet her Cameron mentioned, "You know, when I daydream about our daughter I always picture a little girl who is roma. I haven't really thought about what it'll be like if a little blonde haired, blue eyed baby is brought into the room." I said "I understand. My daydreaming always includes putting a little baby in my ergo and being there for her first toddling steps." We both gave our hearts back to God on the drive to her city and again told God "We want what you have for us even if it doesn't match our daydreaming. We know you have always given us exactly what we need and you will give us the daughter that You have in mind, not who we have in mind." We continued the drive and I tried to kill butterflies in my stomach.
We walked into a room and met the social worker. Immediately he asked if we would like to see a picture. We took the form that her picture was glued on and looked down at a blurry, poorly shot photo of a little roma baby, around 4 months old. I turned to the social worker and said "That's nice but do you have a more recent picture." The social worker replied "It's not so old, she's only just turned 9 months old." I insisted that this wasn't correct, she was 13 months old. He asked for my form and reminded me that the date really reads December 12th, she was 9 months old.
Tears filled my eyes and I looked into Cameron's and I knew God was again being so generously kind and amazing to us. We looked over her medical history and our amazing Dr. Ivo from Sofia arrived. (Folks, this doctor! He took the day off to drive 6 hours to meet us in this city by 10am!) We went to the meeting room and in came her foster mom pushing our daughter in the stroller. Dressed head to toe in pink, with the longest eye lashes in the world our eyes locked and it was like looking at a piece of my heart outside of me that I didn't even know was missing. Everything in me ached to hold her and run out of the room and scream I FOUND YOU!!! *I did not do this
She is the calmest, sweetest little baby, with big brown eyes and a little upturned nose. When I held her for the first time she just looked at my face and ran her hand around my nose, mouth, into my hair and then reached for my glasses. Daddy's turn was next and his blue eyes looked like a cartoon with hearts pumping out of them, he was smitten and in love.
Dr. Ivo took a turn asking questions and examining her and all I could keep thinking was "I really could care less at this point, she's ours whether something is found medically wrong or not." Praise God all of her medical documents were portrayed accurately and she does indeed have a clean bill of health.
Cam and I said YES and then went to the court house to request a trial date for custody.
So here is what is next for us: Saturday the boys will get to meet her. We have been told a court date can arrive between two weeks to a month at which the social worker will call us and inform us of the date. We will arrive for our court date and when the judge hands over custody, we can take her home that day. So you can be praying for that court date to come quickly and for there to be no problems gaining custody. Again Thank You. Thank you to so many who play a big part in us arriving at this moment. When I saw so many of your "likes" and "comments" on Facebook, it reminded me just how many of you have been praying for us and standing beside us and how humbled and loved we feel celebrating this joy of Kaytlyn with you now. In case your wondering, until we have legal custody we are not allowed to show her face. Soon! xoxo
