Sunday, December 7, 2014

Having a heart of hope in situations of hopelessness...a girl named "Nee Nee"

What beauty it is to see first hand the lost who are found, the hurting who are restored, the hopeless ones who are now smiling with the light of Jesus. With the stories of beauty there are still those in the ashes of hopelessness. Those whom we plead will one day know the sweet love of Jesus and be transformed. It's hard when those in the ashes have names and every time they go to rise towards hope, someone else is pushing them face first back into the reality of hopelessness. Thus is the story of a girl named "Nee Nee" (*name changed). Nee Nee comes to Bible study rarely. I couldn't predict how she choses to show up when she does if I tried. When I first met Nee Nee I thought she was strange and didn't know how to engage her. I was cautious of her reasons for coming to Bible study and kept a protective eye over where she was at all times. Nee Nee is never alone when she comes, always there are 4 to 6 very small kids with her. Nee Nee is very quiet and when I saw her the second time I sat by her and tried to have a conversation with her. Her answers are in the form of shy whispers and her presence, so meek and tender, can not compete with the other 20+ children yelling over her for my attention. Nee Nee left early with the young children every time she came and usually only stuck around until snack time. If crafts or colors came before snack time, she and the other children would always be hesitant to take a color sheet and if they did, they would never color. During times of songs or stories, I would notice a sweet smile but nothing more. I would later learn that Nee Nee is in the ashes of hopelessness. Her mother and sister are prostitutes in another city. When they become pregnant they give the children to Nee Nee to watch. At one point Nee Nee has taken care of 11 children and I am unaware of her condition now or her work load at this time. I haven't seen Nee Nee since I've come back from our time in the States. Nee Nee was married to a man at the age of 9, only to be left by her husband over a year later. I look at my oldest son who will be 9 in a matter of months and think upon his innocence. He is nowhere close to being ready to face marriage. In his innocence, he knows where babies come from but not how they exactly get there. I can't imagine him having the experiences of all that goes into marriage at 9 years old much less being divorced over a year later. (This, like all child marriage is not recognized by the laws in the country and are unofficial unions within culture) A girl at Bible study told me that last winter or one prior (I didn't understand which winter) Nee Nee did something to upset her mother and she was put outside in the snow with no slippers or coat for two hours. Unfortunately Nee Nee is one name that could fit into many other stories just like hers. There are huge amounts of brokeness around me and around your neighborhoods but we have to make the time to sit beside the socially awkward, the quiet ones who remain unseen in large groups, the ones who catch our eyes because something is off. Just because I know Nee Nee's story doesn't mean I automatically know the answer for her, but the one I call Father does and I am lifting Nee Nee to Him and I ask that you will also lift Nee Nee to God with me.

Monday, September 22, 2014

A village, a film and the hope of Christ.....

Every weekend that we can, we pack our things and head to the village on Saturday. This Saturday was no different as we packed clothes and teaching materials for the weekend away, however this weekend had excitement in the air for it was the weekend we were showing the Jesus film in a new village. Several things were necessary to pack for this project and Cameron had already been hard at work making a large base to hold up the projector's screen.
Unfortunately we had searched all morning for our generator with no success. We needed to travel with it so that we could use it for the electricity but unfortunately it was missing. We assumed that perhaps it was stored at the church while we were in the States over the winter and decided to look for it there. Before we left the guys needed haircuts and I quickly trimmed them up. I opened the balcony door to sweep out the hair and accidentally forgot to shut it. Boots, the gray kitten went to explore and fell off of the balcony!
Yes, if you've read our blog you are familiar with our last cat, Snappy dying after falling off of the same balcony. We have since had a "no cats on the balcony" rule and I was crushed that I had so foolishly forgotten to close the door! We were scheduled to leave the city by 2 so that Cameron could hold a Bible study that evening with a group of guys in the village, but now I was rushing to the animal hospital at 1:30. The cat was alive but had bleeding in his chest and would need to stay at the clinic until x-rays showed he had stopped bleeding. This was not the way we wanted to start the weekend but we left Sofia with no generator, a hurt kitten and sad hearts.
The next day we had a great time worshipping with our friends in the village of Gulyantsi. One of the boys after church caught this amazing lizard and we all had fun taking pictures.
Even though we searched every corner of the church, we still could not locate our generator and only hoped that we could borrow someone's electricity in the new village. We drove to Pleven to purchase another long extension cable (also missing) and then made a pitstop at a gas station about 5 minutes away from the village. As we ate our snack, the large gray rain clouds approaching the village's skies began to push away our hope that the Jesus film could be shown that day. Cameron called our contact in the village and more disappointing news arrived that he wasn't even home. The man who had asked us to come and show the film was in Sofia and now with no generator, the approaching rain and no person of peace in the community we were left to consider rescheduling for another time. The rain began to fall as we passed the village but to our surprise there were large groups of kids in the fields despite the rain. We turned around and decided that if they were standing in the rain waiting for us then how could we not give it a try.
I have never experienced in Bulgaria large groups of children running behind the car and beside the car with cheers and excitement like we did that day. It was unexpected to see people coming out of their homes waving and smiling as we entered the community. Cameron rolled down the window and asked if our person of peace had arrived back from Sofia and they said yes! Supposedly someone was borrowing his phone when we called and did not realize he was home when they told us he was in Sofia. We are so grateful we turned around because we were unaware that so many had been waiting and expecting our arrival. All the excitement in the world could not stop the rain though and running an extension cord in the rain isn't the way we wanted to introduce people to Jesus :) But if you know Roma, you know they are quick to problem solve with materials they have laying around and before we knew it, tents were set up, blankets brought out, clothes pins were going up everywhere, benches were being set down and the Jesus film was ready to be shown!
Cameron and Stefcho (Stefcho is a Roma believer that desires to be a pastor one day. He travels with us most weekends and helps me with children's church and works beside Cameron with starting new groups) gave introductions and testimonies and then the film began. I sat down in the front on the ground and two little girls climbed into my lap. I silently prayed that the rain would stop and that hearts would be open to see God's love for them. As I was praying a finger poked me in the cheek and a woman who had sat down next to me whispered in my ear "You're a liar. You are a liar. You don't believe in God!" Shocked, I immediately assumed I had misunderstood her and whispered for her to repeat what she said. Again she poked my face and said in an evil sneer "You are a liar! You don't believe in God." She continued to poke my face with each question and accusation "Do you pray to Mary?" "Who do you believe Mary is?" "You don't believe in God." "You are a liar" "Do you believe in Mary?" Like I said, I had two little girls in my lap and the film had stared so I was trying to remain very calm but also trying to keep her hands off of my face. She became more and more aggressive with me and I could tell she was drunk. She grabbed my face like a parent grabs a child's face and squeezed my jaw and again began sneering, "you are a liar. You don't believe in God" Immediately I told her in the name of Jesus to not touch me again and yelled for Stefcho to come and talk to her. As you can imagine, it was a pretty big distraction from the film but praise God for Stefcho because he handled her so well and told her that she was welcome to come back next weekend to discus her beliefs but she had to be sober. She left and a little later a car came by revving their engine over and over until some in the group told them to leave. Afterwards the restaurant next to where we were watching the film turned up their music full blast and drowned out the movie. Some of the guys from the community went over and had the restaurant stop. It was clear from beginning to end that satan was at work but the rain couldn't stop it, a flying kitten who thought he was a bird couldn't stop it lol, the woman didn't stop it, the car didn't stop it, miscommunication didn't stop it, lost materials didn't stop it, restaurant music did't stop it, and at the end of the night Stefcho was surrounded by men wanting to know more and a guy who wanted to know how he could be a follower of Christ. As we packed up, the children sang a new song "Jesus rose from the grave! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Amen!" Even though the sky was dark in that little village as we drove away, a light was sparking in the hearts of men, one that the gates of hell will not prevail over!

Monday, September 15, 2014

The new village

"2My soul longed and even yearned for the courts of the LORD; My heart and my flesh sing for joy to the living God. 3The bird also has found a house, And the swallow a nest for herself, where she may lay her young, Even Your altars, O LORD of hosts, My King and my God. 4How blessed are those who dwell in Your house! They are ever praising You. Selah.…" Psalm 84.
Last weekend we shared about a new village where no current church meets and the man, "Nick" whom Cameron had met the weekend before. This is the village that "Nick" said had no believers nor church in his community. This weekend we visited the village of "Nick" as a family. As we turned onto the rocky dirt road a man approached our car. He happened to be the brother of "Nick" and was very friendly after he understood our motives for entering the village were pure. The family took the children's Bible from my hands and looked over it and then said a group of children would be interested in hearing the stories next Sunday. Today the family was busy skinning a large sheep before the rain clouds approached and ruined the outside work. Our boys were eager to watch this process and got out of the car for a closer look. The kids from the house came and giggled in amusement as they watched Ben and Micah who showed such fascination with the dead sheep.
The impending rain made our visit quick and we continued on our drive up the road to our new friend "Nick"'s house. As we drove down the road people smiled and gave welcoming head nods. "Nick" has four children and they took the convincing of several hand games to open up to me while Cameron talked to their dad. By the end of Cameron's conversation with "Nick" seven kids were giving me high fives and loads of laughter. When presented with some options, "Nick" asked for us to show the Jesus film in his village and we will prepare to do that this Sunday. We also feel this will be a good way to give an overall idea of why we are studying the Bible, Who we are studying, and what Jesus did for us. This open door is one that we walk through with excitement but also with great prayer. We know that if no believers are in this community, we are not blind to know that satan will want to keep it that way. This will be a battle and we would be wise to covet your prayers and be lead by the Holy Spirit as we enter this community. So as always, we seek to remind you that your partnership of prayer is huge in anything we do and it's never overlooked. Thank you for your support! Like the scripture above, may this community find her place in the Lord's house and offer praise to their Mighty King.

Sunday, September 7, 2014

Doors

This picture about sums up life most days. Each day is a series of open and closed doors that we walk through, wait to open or walk away from. This weekend was no different except there was expectation of doors being opened that no longer were unlocked. Cameron travelled with a friend who is a fellow missionary to the village. Unfortunately I had a virus keeping me in bed. (Viruses do not respect doors!) This village had three families asking to study the Bible prior to us going back to the States, but unfortunately those doors were closed this weekend. One lady expressed that her desires have simply changed and she's not interested. Another point of contact continues to be out of the country and the nephew of another man said "My uncle is drunk right now but you can talk with him if you want to." That's an open door that Cameron walked away from. You can pray for this village and for the doors that were opened and for those that remain open to be places that can be entered for God's Word to be studied. On the way back to Sofia, there is a roma community we always see and desire to enter but have not had the right timing, the peace, or the courage to go into it as a family. Today Cameron had the perfect opportunity so he and his friend stopped. The whole community was heading to a wedding and the community was alive with activity. Cameron and his friend began talking to a man who explained that there were no known believers in the area and no church. It's rare to find someone to not immediately claim to be a Christian and say "all the right things" but this honesty gave Cameron the opportunity to ask if they would be interested in studying the Bible together. Praise God he said yes and gave Cameron his phone number. We will begin to meet with them on Saturday or Sunday. Please be praying for this weekend. I admit that though this open door is exciting, it is where my insecurities battle within me most. I know my weakness is the bulgarian language and it is the required factor in communicating God's Word. These two things collide within my heart and mind but God always transforms the moment to be deservingly about His glory and not about my abilities or my inabilities. It is always with great astonishment that I get to see His hand move in the lives of others despite how well I feel I spoke or how miserable I butchered the language. Please pray that again His hand moves and draws this community to one day proclaim "There are many believers here!"

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

In her shoes....Have you ever followed her to the end of the road?

It was a cool evening and Cameron and I were just finishing a date and walking out the door when we heard the commotion. A young woman had entered the patio area of a restaurant and was asking the diners for money while they tried to finish their meal and continue their conversations. The waiter had no patience for the disturbance and quickly addressed her with a forcible removable onto the sidewalk. She was yelling that he was hurting her and screaming at him not to touch her. "I'm not a dog!! I'm not a dog! You can can't just push me!" She would very immediately return to the tables. Her petition for money was almost like a chant "give me money, give me change, give me money, I'm hungry, give me change." She would say this over and over without changing the tone in her voice until the waiter again took her by the arms to forcibly removed her. Again the screaming would return and she would continue to protest the treatment from the waiter. The scene repeated itself 2 times until a woman emerged from the kitchen and told the waiter something. He disappeared and then quickly returned with a loaf of bread and she was told to leave. As she walked away she continued yelling "I'm not a dog, you can't push me around, I'm not a dog (sobbing started) I'm not a dog, I'm not a dog (more sobbing)" Cameron had already purchased some juice and food for her and we quickly walked behind her to catch up to her. With a sharp right turn, she had entered the popular walking street of Vitosha and again began begging at tables for money. I told Cameron that I would like to follow her and see where her path ends. Many times we work with beggars but we never get to trace their steps. I was curious to see where her path lead...would the money be finally handed over to a man waiting at the end of the street? Would she walk into a nice apartment afterwards or go and buy liquor? We can all make assumptions about beggars but rarely do we have the opportunity to follow their steps to see where the begging ends. We followed her down the entire street and watched her look down at her change every couple of steps. She would then continue begging. Finally the begging stopped and she walked into a pharmacy and picked up a pack of pads for menstrual cycles. She asked the lady behind the counter how much they cost and then looked at her change and placed the pads back on the shelf. I quickly picked up enough pads for three months and purchased them as she walked out the door. We I caught up to her on a side street I handed her the bag. She was shocked. I told her that I had seen the situation at the restaurant and heard her scream that she was not a dog. I affirmed that indeed she was not a dog but rather she was made in the image of God and was beautiful. She was so loved by this God that He was meeting her needs now and showing His love to her through me. She began to cry and I opened my arms to her and we embraced as she buried her head into my shoulder. We talked longer and she said "I'm not a dog." I again affirmed her and said "You are not a dog, you are a beautiful daughter of a King. You are God's child and he does not make dogs." She smiled and we departed. Many times we never look at the path of the beggar's journey. Indeed sometimes the need they claim to have is false and other times a need is as simple as needing a sandwich or needing some pads. Don't look at the hands of the beggars, shake their hands and introduce yourselves. Don't look at the cup with the coins in it, look to fill their cup with the love of Christ by offering them His love in word and deed. Know the name of the person you pass and not just the stereotype because most of the time these individuals are hurting people who need to know they're not a dog but rather a person created in the image of God and given a life of purpose.

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Anniversary

Today we celebrated our anniversary. 14 years ago we made a promise. I was 18 and Cameron was 20. It's funny to look back on and realize that neither of us could legally buy a beer but at 18 and 20 we could make the most important decision of our lives and we did! The Lord has been so good to us over the years. We were both broken people who loved each other and loved God more than we loved each other. God over the years has taken cracked and broken clay jars and made us into beautiful expressions of what His love and transformation can do. Thank God that we do not have a perfect marriage, but a perfect God.

Thursday, July 3, 2014

Life

It's amazing how much can change in 5 months and while we were away many things did change. Many of you were praying for a girl who was sent out of the country for prostitution and believed dark magic was being used to make bad things happen in her life. Since we've returned we have not seen her. When we asked people in her community about her, they told us that she was married to a man in a different city and her family is in Amsterdam. You can continue to pray for her and pray that we can reunite with her some way if she is still in Bulgaria. In 5 months, Didi who you've also prayed for has had his heart operation and his parents say that he does not need anymore. When we were in the field this week, he had sticks in hand ready to sword fight with Cameron and full of energy. It was awesome to see his lips full of color rather than blue and hear hearty laughing coming from his once weak body. His mom said it didn't surprise her that so many people and kids in America were praying for Didi because he's special and she knows God's hand has kept him alive all this time. She said to tell you thank you for praying and believes God will use Didi's life for His purpose. Some of the interesting things that have changed in the field are houses with satellites lol Not quite sure how this all works but it's interesting to say the least. Next week the police will arrive and tear down their homes and they will move out of the field for a while. One woman jokingly said "It's good because every time my husband has to build me a new house. This house is so old already." We absolutely do not condone squatting but we've learned this is the cycle of life for them and they choose to continue to have homes to rebuild every six months or so and the police are kind enough to give them a date that they will come and tear things down so they can collect what they need. It's interesting and we in no way understand it or try to understand it anymore than we do, we just continue to be obedient to God and teach them His Word.
We've never owned phones that could connect to the internet but when we returned from the States, we returned with internet capable phones. It was great for them to see some of your pictures on Facebook. So many times we've been asked about how you are doing (those who have visited them in the field) and this time we could show them an updated picture. They were all very excited to see my brother married, pictures of our friends who worked beside us in the field who are back in America and their new baby, and others. Today I was reminded that I forgot to show them pictures of my mom! I will have to fix this mistake next week when we are there. Some new faces are wanting to join the Bible study in the field but there are ill purposes in their heart for wanting to do so. You can be praying that God will change the hearts of those arriving thinking that we will hand out money one day. Usually this situation always fixes itself as God's word changes their motives or they eventually stop coming when they lose hope of free hand outs. Some of these new faces are more disruptive than those from past groups and present more aggressive behavior towards the group, so you can lift up these prayer needs.
The kids have grown leaps and bounds. The minute I would say "Wow he's grown up!" One of the group would say "Wow Micah is very big!" or "Wow where is little Ben!" So I guess in 5 months everyone had growth spurts. Even I received mixed reviews from "Jennifer why are you so white and weak and skinny?" to "Jennifer you're stomach is much fatter than before." Like I said in 5 months a lot can change :) Our time in the village has been much more limited than we would like. This summer has been very busy and weekend illness or teams from the states have kept us from traveling to the village like we were able to do last summer. In a couple of weeks all of this should change and we should be able to continue to work bedside the Pastor there. In august our desire is to hold another children's week (no date is currently set) and to show the Jesus film in the village to the parents who invited us to show it in their community. If everything goes as planned we will need help and we are praying for the help to be available. Last year we were able to work beside the pastor and his family, two missionary families and a brother in Christ but this year both of those missionary families will be in the States. You can be praying for God to provide the right people to be able to help this year.

Sunday, April 20, 2014

Back in Bulgaria

We arrived back to Bulgaria this week and have accomplished getting phones set back up, refrigerators re-stocked and bags unpacked. Next week we will head to the visa office and reapply for another year. Many people who read this blog were also directly involved in some aspect of our time stateside and each of you made our five months back home very enjoyable and relaxing. The boys loved their time in America but are also very happy to be home and sleeping in their room and their beds.
Even though we have enjoyed having this week to set up life again and get readjusted to our time zone, we are anxious to reconnect with people like Papa Isho who Micah and Jennifer used to visit weekly. We are excited to also return to the village we were working in prior to heading to the states. Tonight all of us were inspired by a story from Hudson Taylor. I was reading to the boys about one of Hudson Taylor's experiences while he travelled on a boat in China. He had just shared the story of Christ with a Chinese man. The man had many questions and told Hudson Taylor that he was not ready to make a decision but would come to listen to his preaching later in the village. As they continued sailing towards the village Hudson Taylor went to his cabin to collect his things but heard screams of concern from the deck above. When he returned to the deck, he was told that the Chinese man he had been talking to had fallen over board and could not swim. Hudson Taylor jumped into the water and began desperately searching for him without success. He saw fishermen close by and called for them to come and drop their nets to aid the search effort. The fishermen replied that they were busy fishing and it would cost too much valuable time to join the search. After much yelling back and forth, the fishermen were convinced to join the search if 14.00 dollars would be paid to them for their time. It took only one attempt to find the man when the nets were dropped but it was too late. Though Hudson Taylor tried to resuscitate him, the man was dead. Hudson Taylor paid the fishermen with great frustration and sadness and returned to his cabin in sorrow. He cried out to the Lord, "Those fishermen were guilty of a man's death. All because they were too busy fishing! They would not leave their fishing even to save a life!" "In the stillness, a new thought came to Hudson Taylor. Those Chinese fishermen were cruel and heartless. But how many Christians are no better? How many Christians have no time to go and tell others about Jesus? They will not try to save dying souls, because they are too busy with their own lives...too busy fishing!" The boys and us all looked at each other and talked about how easy it is to become "too busy" with our own lives,
but we must be active in telling a dying world about God's saving love. People can be fooled that a missionary is different from everyone else, but missionaries also struggle with not being consumed with worthless, time wasting events from day to day. We don't want to waste our lives living where God has called us and not being used to change a dying world. As we begin our activities next week, pray for us as we pray for you that we won't be "busy fishermen" too busy to save the lost at sea.