She has bread...the story of Elena

On Wednesday, my brother and I had two days left to spend together and I was taking him to my favorite place to have lunch. The sun was bright and I was cherishing every moment of being with him as we waited for the trolley. To my left I saw an elderly woman look into the trash can and dig for a moment in search of something. Most people assume that only the Roma dig in the dumpsters, but in Bulgaria the Roma are not the only ones who search for things they need in order to survive from day to day. Everyday when I walk to language class, I see elderly people dig through the dumpsters and small trash cans around the city looking for a variety of things. The elderly woman that day made eye contact with me as she walked away from the dumpster. I smiled at her and said hello and she already had her hand extended out towards me as she walked over to ask me for money to buy bread. I told her that I would look in the store closest to us and buy her some bread and she agreed. I was surprised that this store had no bread! I usually hesitate to hand out money but this situation was different and I did not have a choice. As I gave her the money my brother said to me tell her that “Jesus is the bread of life” and with that I began to share the gospel. I told her that the money I gave her would buy her bread today but would not fill her hunger. As surely as the sun rises, she will be hungry again but the Bible tells of eternal bread, eternal life in Jesus. With Jesus we will be satisfied and He will never leave us lacking. She said she wanted to read about this but she did not have a Bible. We set a meeting time for Friday at 4:00 and I told her that I would give her different bread, I would give her the Bible. She hugged me probably 1,000 times and the smile on her face was permanent as she walked away.

Yesterday I enlisted my friends to pray about my meeting at 4:00 pm and thank God that they prayed! This morning my meeting with Elena was all I could think about but at around 3:00 o’clock I forgot! At 3:30 we arrived at Benjamin’s school to pick him up and desired to go up to the mountain. When we arrived at the school his teacher said that Benjamin was in a deep sleep and asked us to return after an hour. Cameron had errands that he needed to run and so my brother and I sat and drank coffee to pass time. (Right by the place I was supposed to meet Elena!) At 3:51 I looked down at my watch and immediately my heart skipped a beat as I remembered the meeting. Cameron had the keys and Elena’s Bible was locked in the car. Fortunately he was able to quickly return to us and give us the Bible within 8 minutes. We quickly walked to the meeting spot and when the next metro arrived, Elena’s sweet beaming face was waiting!

I want you to understand that my language is not where it needs to be and my level of being able to hear and understand Bulgarian is my biggest struggle but somehow despite these struggles God continues to use my obedience rather than my abilities. It is in these moments I want to and actually do cry and tell God “I’m worse than Moses, please stop using me until I can actually do this ministry fully” and it is these times that God tells me “I never needed your abilities, I desire your obedience.”

Elena and I talked for an hour and shamefully I understood so little and told her so many times that I did not understand but she would just hug me, kiss my face and tell me how much joy she has. We set up our next meeting for Tuesday and we will study the Bible together and again I shake my head wondering how God can use me but trusting that He is doing something more than I can give and so I lay my obedience as an offering at His feet and walk away knowing that though I feel inadequate, next Tuesday He will be all she needs.